170 Best Toilet Captions For Instagram And Quotes

Toilet Captions For Instagram

• “Feelin’ fresh and clean after my bathroom break.”
• When in doubt, just flush it out.
• “I’m the queen of making awkward eye contact with someone in the bathroom mirror.”
• The porcelain throne awaits.
• “Going to the bathroom isn’t glamorous, but at least the view is nice.”
• In this bathroom, I’m the boss.
• “Flush away your worries, one problem at a time.”
• “I’m not saying I’m addicted to my phone, but I’ve definitely dropped it in the toilet more than once.”
• “A clean bathroom is a happy bathroom.”
• “You know you’re a true friend when you can pee in front of each other without shame.”
• Taking care of business, one flush at a time.
• “I don’t always take selfies, but when I do, they’re in the bathroom.”
• If you’re not pooping, you’re not living.
• “Sitting on the toilet, contemplating the meaning of life.”
• A good bathroom break can do wonders for the soul.
• “This bathroom is my sanctuary.”
• I can’t hear you over the sound of my toilet flushing.
• “If you can’t handle me at my bathroom break, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
• “I don’t always pee, but when I do, I do it with style.”
• Just another day, just another flush.
• Pee before you leave!
• Excuse me while I go and take on the day.
• A little privacy goes a long way.
• “Don’t worry, everything comes out in the end.”
• “The toilet may be a small space, but it’s big on privacy.”
• “I’m not saying this toilet is uncomfortable, but I’m definitely developing a case of toilet seat butt.”
• “It’s like my butt knows when I’m in a rush and decides to take its sweet time.”
• My bathroom is a no-judgment zone.

Funny Toilet Captions For Instagram

• The only place where I can truly be myself.
• “Ain’t no shame in my bathroom game.”
• “I may be sitting down, but my mind is running a marathon.”
• A little peace and quiet goes a long way.
• Just doing my part to save water.
• “I may not be a morning person, but I’m definitely a morning pooper.”
• “Don’t let anyone tell you that bathroom selfies aren’t art.”
• “Sitting on the toilet, thinking about all the things I’ll conquer today.”
• “It’s amazing how much thinking you can get done on the toilet.”
• “I’m not sure what’s worse, a clogged toilet or a clogged mind.”
• “The best ideas always come to me on the toilet.”
• “The bathroom may be small, but it holds some of life’s biggest moments.”
• “Excuse me, I have to go powder my nose.”
• “No matter how hard life gets, at least we all poop.”
• My bathroom is my happy place.
• “If you’re not peeing in a champagne glass, are you really living?”
• The perfect escape from the chaos of the world.
• A little quiet time goes a long way.
• This bathroom is my happy place.
• “There’s no shame in taking a bathroom break.”
• When nature calls, I answer.
• My favorite room in the house.
• “If you’re feeling down, just remember that at least you’re not a toilet.”
• This bathroom is my sanctuary.
• The best ideas come to me while sitting on the toilet.
• “Life is too short for a bad bathroom experience.”
• Don’t mind me, just doing my thing.
• A good bathroom break is worth its weight in gold.
• A little privacy never hurt anyone.
• Just me and my thoughts.
• This bathroom selfie has me feeling flush.
• “Everyone needs a break, even the bathroom.”
• Here’s to good aim and a clean bathroom.
• “I’ve solved some of my best problems on the toilet.”
• “I’m not saying I’m addicted to coffee, but I’ve definitely had some bathroom emergencies as a result.”
• “I may be on the toilet, but I’m still the boss of my life.”
• A good book and a cozy bathroom = ultimate relaxation.
• Just doing my business.

Bathroom Captions For Instagram

• “This bathroom has seen some things, man.”
• “I’m a multi-tasking queen: peeing, texting, and taking selfies all at the same time.”
• “There’s no place like home…to use the bathroom.”
• The only place where I can truly let it all out.
• The best ideas come to me on the toilet.
• A good bathroom break can make all the difference.
• “When you’re a parent, the bathroom is the only place you can get some peace and quiet.”
• I always come out of the bathroom feeling refreshed and renewed.
• “I never thought I’d say this, but I miss public restrooms.”
• “Life is short, but bathroom breaks are necessary.”
• “If only I could get paid for all the time I spend on the toilet.”
• “A good book and a clean bathroom are the recipe for a perfect day.”
• Ready to tackle whatever the day throws my way.
• When nature calls, you answer.
• Just me, my thoughts, and the toilet.
• “Bathroom breaks are a necessary evil, but at least they give us a moment to breathe.”
• “Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m on the throne.”
• If you need me, I’ll be in the bathroom.
• You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a nice toilet seat.
• The perfect place to escape from the world.
• “Just another day in the life of a toilet ninja.”
• Bathroom breaks are my zen time.
• “A bathroom break a day keeps the stress away.”
• The only time I get some peace and quiet.
• “Is it weird that I feel like I’m betraying my own toilet when I use a different one?”
• “A bad bathroom experience can ruin your whole day.”
• “The toilet is a great equalizer. We all have to use it, no matter who we are.”
• “Bathroom breaks are the new coffee breaks.”
• “I may be small, but I can take down a giant toilet paper roll like nobody’s business.”
• “When in doubt, pee it out.”
• Time for some alone time.
• The ultimate form of self-care.
• “If only solving all problems was as easy as flushing them away.”
• I always come out of the bathroom feeling like a new person.
• Sometimes, you just need to take a step back.
• If the toilet seat is up, you’re out of luck.
• “The toilet is where I go to escape reality, just for a few minutes.”
• Don’t be a party pooper, come join me!
• “Taking care of business, one bathroom break at a time.”
• “Just doing my business, one flush at a time.”
• I’m not a morning person, but this toilet makes it a little easier.
• “I’m a firm believer in the power of a good bathroom break.”
• Going to the bathroom is my favorite excuse to take a break.
• When you gotta go, you gotta go.
• “There’s nothing like a good bathroom mirror selfie to boost your confidence.”
• Here I sit, brokenhearted…

Toilet Selfie Captions For Instagram

• “I’m a porcelain princess/prince.”
• My bathroom routine is as regular as my morning coffee.
• “Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now, I’m on the toilet.”
• I may be on the throne, but you’re the real MVP.
• Just me, my phone, and the toilet.
• “I don’t always take bathroom breaks, but when I do, I make them count.”
• “It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a good bathroom break.”
• Sitting pretty on my porcelain throne.
• This bathroom is my escape from the world.
• “Potty training never ends, it just gets more sophisticated.”
• “I don’t always take bathroom selfies, but when I do, they’re epic.”
• I don’t always take selfies, but when I do, they’re in the bathroom.
• “The toilet may be my throne, but the world is my kingdom.”
• No judgment in this bathroom.
• “When nature calls, you gotta answer.”
• “I think I just set a world record in here.”
• Silence is golden.
• “I’m not saying this bathroom is haunted, but I’ve definitely felt some weird vibes in here.”
• Just hanging out in my favorite room.
• “When you gotta go, you gotta go.”
• “My toilet is my therapist, my confidant, my everything.”
• “I think I just discovered a new yoga pose on the toilet.”
• Potty humor never gets old.
• Peeing with a purpose.
• “The only thing better than a clean bathroom is a clean conscience.”
• My throne room is my sanctuary.
• “I’m not sure what’s scarier, the monsters under my bed or the ones in my toilet.”
• My own personal oasis.
• Excuse me while I go and conquer the day.
• “Sitting on the throne, ruling the world.”
• A throne fit for a queen.
• Sometimes, you just need a break.
• “May your aim be true and your toilet paper plentiful.”
• The best seat in the house.
• Excuse me while I go and rule the world.
• Bathroom selfies are the best selfies.
• “I’m not lazy, I’m just taking a bathroom break.”
• Life is too short to have a boring bathroom.
• Sometimes, you just need a moment to yourself.
• A little me-time never hurt anyone.
• Do not disturb.

Toilet Quotes For Instagram

• “Here’s a picture of me taking care of business.”
• Life is too short to wait for someone else to finish in the bathroom.
• “I’m just trying to flush away all my problems.”
• “This bathroom has some serious design inspo.”
• “I hope my boss doesn’t see this bathroom selfie.”
• The perfect place to unwind and recharge.
• The one place where I can truly relax.
• Just me and my throne.
• A clean bathroom is a happy bathroom.
• Taking care of business.
• “I’m not saying I’m a germaphobe, but I definitely use my foot to flush public toilets.”
• The perfect place for some self-reflection.
• This bathroom is my personal spa.
• The world is my oyster, and the bathroom is my pearl.
• “The toilet is my sanctuary, my place of peace.”
• I don’t always poop, but when I do, I prefer it to be private.
• “I’m not procrastinating, I’m just refueling on the toilet.”

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